Why You Can’t "Think" Your Way Out of Fear of Death

Anxiety vs. Dread: What’s the Difference?

We often use the word "anxiety" to describe any kind of unease. But in my practice, I see a distinct difference between clinical anxiety and Existential Dread.

Anxiety often loops around the "what ifs." What if I get sick? What if I suffer? It is frantic and heady.

Existential Dread is deeper, quieter, and heavier. It’s the sudden, cold realisation in the middle of the night that I will not be here forever. It’s the feeling of groundlessness when we confront the impermanence of everything we love.

Why "Talking" Isn't Always Enough

Traditional talk therapy is incredible for many things. In fact, I highly recommend it - and see a therapist myself.

But when it comes to the fear of death, the rational mind often hits a wall. You can analyse your fear for years, but you cannot "logic" your way out of mortality.

In fact, trying to rationalise death often makes the fear worse, because the mind is trying to solve a problem that has no solution.

And for those of you who may say some therapy isn’t always about logic: yes, I agree with you. AND, just like any model or modality, therapy has its limitations. In my opinion, what I’ve described in this blog here is one of them. At a point, there is only so much talking you can do, and the work becomes about practice, embodiment and integration.

The Somatic Approach: Existential Integration

This is why my Existential Integration Sessions focus on the body (somatic inquiry).

Fear of death lives in our nervous system. It shows up as a tight chest, a shallow breath, or a constant low-level hum of panic.

Instead of fighting the fear or trying to distract ourselves from it, we learn to metabolise it. We ask:

• Where does this fear live in my body right now?

• Can I stay with this sensation for 10 seconds without trying to fix it?

When we drop out of the story ("I'm going to die and it will be terrible") and into the sensation, something shifts. The dread transforms from a terrifying monster into a wave of energy that we can ride.

You don't need to be "cured" of your mortality. You just need to learn how to carry the knowledge of it without collapsing.