Breaking the Taboo: 5 Conversation Starters for Talking About Death
"So... who gets the good china?"
We often wait for a crisis to talk about death. We wait for a diagnosis or a tragedy. But the best time to talk about death is when everyone is healthy, relaxed, and drinking tea.
Talking about dying doesn't summon it. It normalises it. It brings it out of the shadows.
If you want to open this door but feel awkward, here are five conversation starters ranging from "Playful" to "Deep."
1. The Ice-Breaker (Low Stakes) "I was reading a blog today about the songs people choose for their funerals. If you could force us all to listen to one song as your final exit theme, what would it be?"
2. The Curiosity (Medium Stakes) "I’ve been thinking about my own end-of-life wishes lately. Have you ever thought about what you’d want? Like, would you want a big party or something quiet?"
3. The Legacy Question (Warm) "What is the one recipe/story/tradition you hope our family keeps doing even 50 years after we’re all gone?"
4. The "Good Death" Question "If you could design your perfect last day on earth—what are you eating? Who is there? What is the view out the window?"
5. The Direct Approach (With Parents) "Mum/Dad, I know you’re healthy right now, but I want to make sure I can honour you properly one day. Is there anything specific you’re terrified of happening? Or anything you really want?"
Start small. Listen more than you speak. You might be surprised by how relieved people are to finally talk about it.
