WELCOME

Greek in origin, doula is derived from a word that translates to ‘a woman who serves’ or ‘woman’s servant’ (although doulas can be any gender). More commonly, many people have heard of birth doulas and it is empowering to have a doula in both transitions of before-life/after-death. Some other words for doula are midwife, caretaker, thanadoula, end-of-life consultant, or funeral guide, among others.

A doula specialising in end-of-life care or death is one that essentially provides non-medical or emotional support to the dying or the ones who remain after the dying person has transitioned.

The role of a death doula is to fill in the gaps between the medical industry, palliative care, hospice care, and the funeral industry. The scope of services a doula provides is intentionally broad, as each doula you meet will have different specialities and skill sets, and each individual in their dying process will have a unique situation and set of needs.

• By being aware of the less-discussed options at your disposal, you can potentially save thousands of dollars and prevent any exploitation during difficult moments of grief.

• Delegate the logistics so you can focus on what’s actually important at the end of life: being present.

• Be honoured and seen as a person, not another medical statistic.

• Have peace of mind, knowing your wishes are heard.

• Die a conscious death on your terms by having more control over the type of care you receive.

• Be empowered in your choices to consent to (or refuse) treatments based on your autonomy over your consciousness.

• Experience presence as you retain dignity through the entire death process.

• Know that you are supported and not alone in a system that makes it challenging for individuals to access holistic support on a community level.

Read about more of the benefits in my blog post.

Although when we cannot prepare to have certainty around when we die, we can prepare for death by acknowledging that it is an inevitability. In doing so, we can address what’s most important to us, such as our values and the type of care we would like to receive when our time comes. We can also meet and move through our fears and resistance that may be inhibiting us from being fully present in life. Ultimately, by preparing for a good death, we are able to deal with the fears of death & dying as well as what stops us from living fully.

Absolutely. However, most people are too nervous, polite or considered of others to share this is their preference (or perhaps, have not considered that this may be their authentic preference). This is one of the most important considerations that is often missed when the topic of death is avoided.

As an autonomous individual, you are allowed to decline treatment in Australia.

However, if this has not been an expressed preference or you have not shared your values around end-of-life with your family, it may be more challenging to decline treatment should you be unable to speak for yourself (or have been deemed as not having full decision-making capacity) and have not appointed a medical power of attorney to advocate for your treatment to align with your values.

Having an Advance Care Plan where you state your treatment preferences can be helpful in ensuring you receive the treatment you want and are able to decline the treatment you do not want.

Absolutely, it's completely normal to have anxiety and concerns about death. These feelings often arise from deep reflections on our existence and the mysteries surrounding what happens after we die. Many people, at some point, grapple with these existential questions, and it's a testament to the value we place on life and our connections with others.

The fear of mortality can be triggered by various life events, such as personal experiences, ageing or health concerns. It's a reflection of our humanity and often signifies our relationship with the unknown, or what conscious (or, more commonly, unconscious) associations we have with death.

It's crucial to remember that you're not alone in these feelings. Many individuals find solace in talking with friends, family or professionals who can provide support, guidance and strategies for managing this anxiety. These conversations can be a source of comfort and understanding as you navigate these profound thoughts and emotions. Remember, it's okay to seek help and support when you need it, and there's no shame in addressing these concerns with care and compassion for yourself.

Grief, in its essence, is a voyage through the depths of the human soul, a journey into the mysterious realms of loss and transformation. There exists no fixed measure of time within the tapestry of existence that can encapsulate the intricate and profound experience of grieving. It is, in essence, an enigmatic dance with the intangible forces of sorrow and healing, a choreography uniquely composed for each individual. This is why it’s imperative to not judge what arises, as the judgement often inhibits the process of grief and prolongs the grief period.

Grief flows as a river through the landscapes of our hearts, taking unpredictable twists and turns, surging with intensity in some moments and receding into quieter eddies in others. It is a testament to the intricate and nuanced nature of our emotional lives, influenced by the unique circumstances of our losses, the relationships we held dear, and the intricate mosaic of our inner worlds.

As we navigate the intricate labyrinth of grief, we may find ourselves touched by moments of acute sorrow, but also moments of unexpected solace and understanding. The passage of time, which in the realm of grief seems nonlinear, is but a vessel for the transformation of our pain into a tapestry of memories, love and wisdom.

In the journey of life, it's imperative to grant ourselves the grace to grieve in our own sacred rhythm. Seek solace in the company of kindred souls, traverse the depths of your emotions, and honour the connection you shared with what has been lost. Remember that healing and growth are as integral to the process as the grief itself. There is no fixed path or prescribed duration—only your unique passage through the sacred terrain of loss and renewal.

Read more Grief FAQs.

Currently, the death doula industry is unregulated in Australia as the role of “death doula” is a non-medical one and the field relatively new and evolving.

In some instances, there is a huge benefit or an argument to not regulate the field as end-of-life care tends to be highly individualistic and standardisation can limit the personalisation of death doula services. Excessive regulation could potentially limit people's options and control over their end-of-life experiences.

It's important to note that while the death doula industry may be unregulated, many practitioners and organisations within the field have established their own codes of ethics, training programs, and certification processes to maintain professional standards and provide high-quality care.

As a doula, I have completed several certifications and am actively involved in my personal and professional development, participate in fortnightly 1:1 mentorship sessions with industry leaders who have worked in this field for over 20 years, and stay up to date with the latest research and legislation that impacts my field and people at the end-of-life.

A doula cannot offer legal advice, be a healthcare proxy, or sign official paperwork related to care or funeral arrangements.

Eco, sustainable and green funerals are used somewhat interchangeably. They speak to a movement in the funeral industry that moves away from a commercialised approach to a more intimate, personalised approach that also considers the environmental and financial impact of burials/cremations, chemical use and other factors.

Read more about the benefits of green funerals and how they differ from traditional funerals.

I service most areas in Melbourne and surrounds, including: Abbotsford, Balwyn, Bend of Islands, Brunswick, Carlton, Collingwood, Croydon, Coburg, Diamond Creek, Doncaster, Eltham, Fitzroy, Greensborough, Heidelberg, Hurstbridge, Ivanhoe, Kangaroo Ground, Kew, Malvern, Mitcham, Montmorency, Northcote, Panton Hill, Preston, Research, Richmond, Ringwood, Rosanna, St. Andrews, Templestowe, Thornbury, Wonga Park, Watsons Creek, Wattle Glen.

I predominantly offer in-person services within the Northern and Northeastern suburbs of Melbourne. If your area is not listed please contact me as services can still be arranged in person, online or phone.