The "She'll Be Right" Trap: Why Australians Struggle to Talk About Death

The "No Worries" Culture

Australia is famous for its laid-back, "she'll be right" attitude. We value resilience. We value "getting on with it." We dislike "making a fuss."

While this stoicism serves us well in a crisis like a bushfire or a flood, it often fails us completely in the crisis of death.

Death is a fuss. Grief is not "no worries." It is all worries.

Because we are culturally trained to minimise discomfort for others, Australians often suffer in silence. We don't want to be a "burden," so we don't tell our friends how scared we are. We crack a joke at the wake to break the tension, rather than sitting in the sadness.

The Void of Secularism

Australia is one of the most secular nations on earth. We have largely moved away from the church, which is valid, but we haven't replaced the rituals that religion used to provide.

In the past, the church gave us a script for dying. It gave us Last Rites, sitting Shiva, or a wake that lasted three days.

Now, we have... a 45-minute slot at the crematorium chapel and a sausage roll afterwards.

Without these scripts, we feel lost. We don't know what to do with our hands. We don't know what to say to the widow, so we say nothing at all.

Moving Beyond the "Battler" Myth

There is a deep "Aussie Battler" myth that suggests dignity is found in silence. But true dignity in death comes from connection.

We need to learn a new language. We need to be brave enough to say, "Actually, I'm not okay, and I'm terrified."

Changing a culture takes time, but it starts at our own dinner tables. It starts by refusing to say "no worries" when we are actually heartbroken.